Sunday, February 14, 1999

Evil spirits & rival suitors: favorite wedding traditions

By TRACY L. GUTH

Scripps Howard News Service

Whether you’re doing a full-on formal affair or tying the knot barefoot on the beach, chances are you’re including tradition in your wedding.

Wearing white, tossing the bouquet and even going on a honeymoon have roots in ancient beliefs. If you’ve ever wanted to know the whys behind the ways we marry, here’s your chance.

THE WEDDING PARTY

Long ago, getting married was even tougher than it is today -- the groom literally had to steal the bride from her family and dash her off to the altar. This was the process even if the families (and more importantly, the bride) agreed to the marriage. Initially, only the groom had attendants -- their job was to defend him against anyone who might try to steal his bride. In later years, the bride chose female escorts -- bridesmaids -- who would protect her and her dowry against suitors and robbers while she was on her way to meet her groom.

In some places, notably rural English villages, the bride and her attendants still walk to the ceremony together. Depending on how far from your site you live, you can do it, too.

WEARING WHITE

The ancient Romans chose white as their color of celebration more than 2,000 years ago. And as hard as it is to believe, it wasn’t always worn for weddings. It wasn’t until the Victorian era when Queen Victoria wore white when she married her beloved Albert that white wedding dresses became all the rage. In those days, white meant purity and virginity, but today it is again the color of joy and celebration -- which means that any bride can wear it, whether it’s her first wedding or her fifth.

THE RING

The circular shape of your wedding ring symbolizes never-ending love. Gold represents enduring beauty, purity and strength, all appropriate marriage sentiments. Why do we wear the ring on the third finger of the left hand? The ancient Egyptians believed that the vein in that finger ran directly to the heart. As for that big rock of an engagement ring, we have the king of Germany to thank for that. In 1477 he offered his beloved a diamond as a betrothal gift -- the first recorded diamond engagement ring.

SOMETHING OLD, NEW, BORROWED AND BLUE

The tradition of the bride wearing something old (for continuity), new (optimism for the future), borrowed (borrowed happiness) and blue (fidelity, good fortune and love) on her wedding day stems from an Old English rhyme.

THE VEIL

Brides originally wore veils to stave off evil spirits. The veil was often red (for defiance against evil) or yellow (for Hymen, the god of marriage). Martha Washington’s daughter is said to have been the first bride to wear white lace, covering her heard with a long lace scarf for her ceremony. Her fiance had previously commented on her beauty as she stood behind a lace window curtain, and she went with it -- as have millions of other brides.

NOT SEEING EACH OTHER PRE-CEREMONY

In the early days of arranged marriages, the bride and groom often never saw each other at all before the wedding. Even after couples were already acquainted before they married, it was still considered bad luck for the groom to glimpse the bride pre-ceremony; she would not be pure and new. Nor was the bride supposed to see herself -- it was believed that if she saw her reflection, she would leave some of herself behind in the mirror. (Brides today probably wouldn’t take too well to not being able to preen before the wedding!)

These days, many couples still uphold the not-seeing-each-other tradition. Others throw caution to the wind and spend time alone together pre-ceremony to calm their nerves or enjoy the excitement together.

THE FLOWERS

Early Roman brides carried bunches of herbs, most often rosemary, to symbolize fidelity and fertility and to scare off evil spirits. The Greeks carried ivy, symbolizing endless love. The Victorians were fascinated with the meanings of different blooms; they popularized the wedding rose, which represented true love.

BRIDE TO THE GROOM’S LEFT

In the days of marriage by capture, the groom had to constantly defend himself against rival suitors -- even when the couple was already at the altar, set to say their vows! Therefore, the groom needed his right hand (his sword hand) free to fight. The bride stood at his left, safe from any random sword swoosh! (This is a Christian custom; in Jewish weddings, the bride stands on the groom’s right.)

THE KISS

In ancient Rome a kiss sealed a contract, so your smooch at the altar is, in a way, legally binding. The belief we like better (it’s so much more romantic): When a couple kiss, part of their soul is exchanged.

THE BOUQUET AND GARTER TOSS

The bride originally tossed her bouquet to a friend as she left the festivities to keep that person safe (the warding off evil spirits issue again) and to offer her luck -- since getting lucky in those days meant getting married. This came to mean that the single woman who caught the bouquet would marry next. The origins of the garter toss are humorous -- guests would literally rip off pieces of the bride’s gown for luck, so to defend herself she began to throw her garter to them! These days, the groom removes it from her leg (as innocently as possible, we’re sure) and tosses it to his bachelor pals.

THE THRESHOLD

The groom traditionally lifts the bride over the threshold of their new home (or wedding-night hotel room) so that evil spirits lurking in the floorboards won’t be able to get to her! Roman brides would let themselves be dragged over the threshold to demonstrate their reluctance to leave their father’s home.

THE HONEYMOON

Medieval newlyweds would spend a month alone together, enjoying mead, a fermented honey drink (honey is an ancient symbol of life, health, and fertility) until the moon waned, hence the term "honeymoon." Unfortunately, today’s honeymooners rarely get a month off after the wedding!