Hospice helps local family in mother's final days

By LORETTA FULTON Senior Staff Writer

David and Stephanie Gaston were lucky.

Her doctor suggested hospice care when he determined that she had just a few months to live.

"He was a remarkable doctor," David Gaston said. "He always discussed everything in front of both of us."

Stephanie, who had suffered from multiple sclerosis much of her life, was diagnosed with cancer in July 1997 and died three months later on Oct. 16. at age 48.

The close-knit family, David, 8-year-old twins James and Jennifer, and one of David's sisters took care of Stephanie in their home in Buffalo Gap as long as they could.

But when their care and in-home hospice care were no longer sufficient, Stephanie was moved to an in-patient unit at Hendrick Medical Center. The unit is run by Hendrick Hospice Care, an affiliate of the medical center.

The good news for the Gastons was that the seven-bed unit was available so close by. The bad news for the general public is that such in-patient units are rare, at least in Texas, with only 7-10 other units in the state.

"It's pretty much on the cutting edge," said Betty Bowen, bereavement coordinator for Hendrick Hospice Care.

For the Gastons, the unit was a saving grace.

"I've never been in a place that was so nice, for lack of a better word," David Gaston said.

The unit features rich colors, comfortable furniture, televisions, video games, movies, coloring books, laundry and kitchen facilities.

"It wasn't just sitting around watching someone die," Gaston said. "It was a very comfortable atmosphere, very dignified."

In fact, "dignified" is the word most used by Gaston in talking about his wife's death.

"Hospice is just a dignified way of dying," he said.

Since his wife's death, the Gaston's have continued to take advantage of the services offered by hospice. The children attend Rainbows sessions that help them learn to cope with their mother's death, especially the anger that is naturally associated with losing a parent.

Rainbow counselors teach the children a motto: "I didn't cause it, I can't fix it, but I can cope with it."

Gaston attends adult sessions while his children are in the Rainbow children's meetings.

"They treat the whole family," Gaston said.

And they treat them with dignity, the word that keeps coming back to Gaston. Everyone knows a patient in the hospice in-patient unit is dying, but that doesn't keep the staff from doing everything possible to make the process as painless, natural, and dignified as they can.

"Dignity is the main thing that comes to my mind," Gaston said. "They treat everybody like they're somebody special."