Sunday, May 17, 1998

Baby boomers vs. tomorrow's workers

By Dale McFeatters

If ever a generation should be trying to ingratiate itself with the nation's youth, it is the one now in power.

Because of longer lifespans and a declining birthrate, the day is not far off when there will be one young worker for every retiree. In other words, the kids running around the playgrounds today will be supporting the retirements of the Baby Boomers and Generation Xers tomorrow.

You would think that the future retirees of America would do everything possible to flatter, charm and -- to use their phrase -- suck up to the future workers of America. You would think that wrongly.

The Clinton administration and its co-conspirators in Congress, by design or accident, have set out to enrage the very people they're counting on to support them in old age. Consider these developments under the guise of "what's best for the children."

A national campaign is under way to make it tougher for teen-agers to get drivers licenses, effectively postponing the age for full driving privileges from the traditional 16 until after 18. To compound frustration with humiliation, a provisional driver, from 16 to 18, would have to be accompanied by an adult, not someone over 18, someone over 21.

Congress will soon make it illegal to sell cigarettes to anyone under 18. Most states already do, and some are considering legal penalties -- suspending that drivers license -- for anyone under 18 caught smoking.

The federal government also has forced the drinking age from 18 to 21, meaning a 20-year-old infantry sergeant cannot legally have a cold beer after a hard day on maneuvers.

All of this is for the kids' own good, of course, as is the relentless preaching of sexual abstinence -- by a generation that can't stop talking about the miracle of Viagra.

President Clinton has proposed adding another two years to the time kids spend in school, meaning that they would leave school at 19 or 20 instead of 17 or 18. Since both the White House and Congress agree that school uniforms are a good idea, that would be two more years for the youth of America to dress as dorks.

More and more school systems, as a condition of graduation, mandate required "voluntary service," which means the kids' free time is now spent in indentured servitude to the local pols' favorite causes.

Schools, meanwhile, have become a legal minefield for kids. A child who shares an aspirin or an asthma inhaler is now liable to drug trafficking charges. The Illinois kid who shot a paper clip in the school cafeteria is facing a criminal misdemeanor charge and a year in jail.

Schoolyard incidents that once would have been penalized with a swat in the pants are now criminal offenses, punishable by time in jail. The sole consolation is that, if this were another time, the kids' cellmates would include Huck Finn and Penrod Schofield.

Meanwhile, Congress is making more and more juvenile crimes federal felonies where kids as young as 12 can be tried as adults. So, while cruising, tobacco, beer and sex are all outlawed, the kids do enjoy along with adults the privilege of facing life imprisonment and the death penalty.

The generation now in power, in the White House and Congress, seems unworried about its retirement, perhaps because of another unpleasant surprise awaiting the kids of today: Because the Boomers and Xers never got around to fixing it, Social Security will be bust when they retire.

It's an intergenerational joke based on an old cartoon about the reading of a will: "Being of sound mind and body, we spent it all."

The Clinton generation should be a little more careful. Somewhere on the other side of that bridge to the 21st century its members are always talking about, there might be a lynch mob.

Scripps Howard News Service