Sunday, April 19, 1998

Non-genetic families provide support, comfort

By Mickey Griggs

The value and need for strong and healthy families is undergoing increasing discussion and attention individually and via the media. And rightly so.

The dictionary offers a number of definitions for family. The one coming nearest to what I have in mind and heart is "the staff, or body of assistants of an official, such as the office family."

These non-genetic families or communities include country towns and city suburbs, the work places and the services they render, centers of learning and education, health care facilities and many more.

Neighborhoods can become a community or fellowship or family. We live in one. Just as homes are built differently, so are the residents. Though they go their separate ways, there exists a pleasant, loving relationship and a willingness to help each other when needs arise.

I cite a few examples of family membership we have acquired through the years. (The owners are unaware of these disclosures.)

Long ago we found the Black-Eyed Pea to be more than a restaurant with its top-notch food and service. It has become a family where we are mutually and warmly greeted, even at times with open arms, by the staff and management. Brief fellowship is enjoyed. Conversation ranging from movies to mores to church is shared with smiling and listening interest. This is one of our non-genetic families where everything and everyone is a delicious dessert.

I think of another operation where a happy and warm climate greets and meets me before I hardly gain entrance. I am made to feel at home immediately and free to engage in joyful and comfortable exchange on any subject. It's a family of old friends and new and where I, looking better and feeling better, exit from the Park Terrace Beauty Salon.

My church, First Baptist, is a priceless, special family where I am challenged and enriched, not only through a worship process and sermons that penetrate and uplift, but through groups and activities designed for the spiritual and physical development of all ages.

I am also increasingly aware that churches throughout our city and beyond, rich and poor, small and large, enjoy a helpful, caring, individualized Christian fellowship.

I conclude my examples with an experience of almost overwhelming grief.

Angel, our 6-pound, white, furry poodle, named and given to us by our daughter some 12 years ago, was exactly that -- an angel. She knew nothing but to love and be loved by all who came her way. Both of us were extremely interdependent; she was my baby, companion, playmate, therapist.

The Elm Creek Veterinary Clinic family loved her as their own and met her every need through the years. Their tears flowed with ours as we all gathered together to be told there was no hope for a little body whose main organs had just worn out with age. During that time, or before, she became a heavenly angel in my arms, surrounded by a family who served, cared and loved. Her death was their main topic of conversation the next morning, and memories of their loving Angel still echo through the building and in their hearts.

Non-genetic families? We'll continue to help build them, support them and draw from them. I'm more convinced than ever that giving is receiving in one way or another. Just a smile can give hope to a breaking heart, our own and others. In the process we are giving and receiving.

I received many impressions from seeing the movie "The Apostle." The one that sticks with me is our God-Christ's grace and forgiving love includes wherever, whoever and whatever their type of sincere, religious expression, past and present.

From all of them I can learn and grow in my ongoing, sometimes bumpy journey of faith and practice. But I do not journey alone. I am accompanied by loving, caring individuals and genetic and non-genetic families.

Mickey Griggs of Abilene has been involved in a number of local volunteer efforts, including the Abilene Baptist Association Social Ministries and the Hendrick Medical Center Auxiliary.