Tuesday, September 8, 1998

Maintaining the right not to appear ignorant

More American teen-agers can name the Three Stooges (Curly, Bill and Newt) than the three branches of government (Executive, Judicial and Moe), claims a new survey.

Only 2 percent can identify James Madison as the author of the Constitution or name William Rehnquist as chief justice of the Supreme Court, while more than 90 percent of kids age 13 to 17 can identify the stars of the movie "Titanic" and the TV series "Home Improvement."

The survey was designed to dramatize the teen-agers' breathtaking ignorance of the Constitution, although some adults might find it reassuring that only 25 percent know their rights under the Fifth Amendment - the requirement of a grand jury indictment before being held to answer for "infamous" crimes, for example.

It's a safe bet that zero percent of the teen-agers knew the survey had a hidden agenda: To convince Congress to pay half the cost of a proposed $130 million Constitution museum in Philadelphia.

If the lawmakers believe a new museum will cause teen-agers to forsake the passing pleasures of "Beverly Hills 90210" for the deeper joys of Article II, Section 2 (Electors), they are even more ignorant than the kids.

Besides, there's a quicker and easier way for the teen-agers to at least appear as well-informed as their elders: Refuse to respond to surveys like this one.