Sunday, August 23, 1998

Clinton needs to learn how to say ‘I'm sorry'

By Sharon Randall

We were sick and tired of the whole ugly mess. We wanted to put it behind us, take a long, hot national shower and move on to real issues, terrorist bombings or global warming or where to get a good non-fat decaf latte.

Why couldn't he just say, "I did it. I was wrong. I'm sorry" and leave it at that?

I didn't want to write a column about Bill Clinton's "inappropriate" relations with a White House intern not much older than his daughter.

I generally try to stick to things I can understand. And I can't begin to understand how a president could do something so harebrained and low-class. It's hard enough trying to figure out my own mistakes, let alone make sense of his.

Why does anybody ever do anything that is so wrong, so hurtful, so stunningly stupid that even if, by the grace of God, it can be forgiven, it will never, ever be forgotten?

But the anger I felt after the president's address Monday night was not just about what went on between him and Monica Lewinsky. And please, spare me the details, I've heard more than I ever needed to know.

When he looked into our TV eyes and bade us all "Good evening," we knew he was going to admit that he did indeed "have a relationship with Lewinsky that was not appropriate." It was a god-awful thing to hear, but we were willing to hear him out.

Embarrassed for him

We felt embarrassed for him and his family and especially for ourselves. We were like children having to listen to our parents talk about their sex lives. We all know parents and presidents have sex on occasion, but do we really have to hear about it?

We weren't expecting the president to explain why he engaged in unspeakable acts with an intern in the White House, and possibly perjured himself under oath, and flat out lied to people who had twice entrusted him to the highest office in the land.

Some things can never be explained. The more you try, the worse they get. We didn't need an explanation. But we deserved a proper apology.

I believed him when he said he deeply regretted "having misled people, including even my wife." But the word "but" begs to negate what is said before it. To say "I'm sorry, but" is to be in fact not very sorry at all.

And that is what he said, our president, right between taking full responsibility for his actions and insisting that he never asked anyone to lie.

It was the kind of apology that never quite puts things right. It only makes you madder. And I'm furious with Bill Clinton. I'm mad about what he did, how he lied and the way he botched that apology. I expected more of him on every count.

But should he be impeached? I don't think so. Should he resign? Probably not. Should we forgive him? Absolutely. Not because he, or any of us, deserves mercy. But because we deserve to be merciful.

Some say to forgive is to condone a sin. I don't believe that. We forgive because we've been forgiven. And because we hope to be forgiven again.

We need to accept the president's apology, such as it was. And he needs to learn how to say "I'm sorry."

Sharon Randall is a winner of the American Association of Sunday and Feature Editors and the Best of the West commentary awards.

Scripps Howard News Service