Tuesday, June 30, 1998

UFO panel out of sight

A panel of reputable scientists has concluded there is something to those UFO reports and, whatever it is, it's worth studying.

Boy, will they be sorry.

The panel conducted the first independent scientific review of UFO sightings since 1968, the 30-year interval being because serious researchers fear the ridicule of their colleagues for being mixed up with conspiracy nuts and flying saucer freaks. (The review was bankrolled by Laurance Rockefeller, and, of course, we all know the Rockefeller's connections with the Trilateral Commission. Enough said.)

Braving the "giggle factor," the panel said a serious study of UFO sightings might yield scientific discoveries about such phenomena as atmospheric radiation and the Earth's magnetic field.

The UFO cult, however, isn't interested in high-altitude lightning or microwave bursts or wayward weather balloons. The cultists want extraterrestrials and alien spacecraft, but the scientists say there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever of visitors from outer space.

Before it even issues its first report, the panel is already part of the cover-up.