Sunday, April 12, 1998

Children must be taught appropriate ways of expressing basic emotions

By DOUG WORTHINGTON

Guest Columnist

In a world in which children seem to be exhibiting levels of violence that are strikingly unchildlike, the question of how to rear children takes on new sense of immediacy for parents and professionals.

No doubt you were repulsed, shocked and angered by the seemingly senseless killings that took place at Westside Middle School in Jonesboro, Ark. Police say two boys, 13 and 11, lured the students outside and without warning, opened fire on them killing four young girls and a 32-year old teacher.

This event shock us, makes us angry and confuses us. Any death of a child always shocks us and the needless and senseless killing of children angers us all the more. We are also confused when the killing is done by other children.

We find some solace in thinking that violence among children is rare, but before we take too much comfort in that thought, allow me to rattle some myths about children and violent behavior.

First, violent behavior is not unusual in children. In fact, it is common: Witness any group of small children playing in a pre-school setting. You will observe children shoving and hitting each other in anger. The truth is that small children are often violent as they seek to express the internal drives of anger and frustration without the benefit of a well-developed conscience.

It is the job of parents, teachers and responsible adults to teach children more appropriate ways of expressing and venting their more basic emotions. When this does not occur, or when the child is exposed to recurrent violence, we are risking the possibility of children knowing no boundaries to their anger and frustration.

When we look at our society, we see one that has experienced a dramatic increase in violence in almost every sector. Domestic violence has risen to epidemic proportions, and everyone is exposed to the violence of television and movies. Could it be that the increase in violence committed by very young children is only a reflection of the violence seen in our society as a whole? This seemingly constant exposure to violence without consequence has no doubt influenced our children as is evidenced by the increased violence perpetrated by very young children.

National reports of the influence that exposure to violence has on children have gone mostly unheeded. All three of the most comprehensive reports (1972 Surgeon General's Report, 1982 NIMH Ten-year Follow-up and 1992 American Psychological Association Task Force on Television in Society) concluded that repeated exposure to televised violence is one of the significant causes of violence in American society. All one has to do is watch cartoons, video games and children's programming to see that children are bombarded with violence every day, not to mention what they watch on evening television unsupervised in their rooms.

However, exposure to television violence is not the sole source of the increase in violence in children. Numerous studies have concluded there is a complex interaction of factors that leads to an increased risk of violent behavior in children and adolescents. These factors include: previous aggressive or violent behavior, being a victim of physical or sexual abuse, exposure to violence in the home or community, use of drugs and alcohol in the home, a stressful family life including poverty, divorce, unemployment, and single parenting. All these factors predispose children and adolescents to the possibility of violent behavior.

Any signs of violence from children need to be taken seriously at any age. It should not be minimized or written off as just a phase they are going through. The warning signs for violent behavior in children are easily recognized and need to be addressed. The signs are: intense anger, frequent loss of temper or blow-ups, extreme irritability, extreme impulsiveness and becoming easily frustrated.

The increased violence we are seeing in our children is a family and community problem. Should you see these signs in your child, seek professional help with the problems. Let's take the opportunity to teach our children healthy ways of expressing anger and frustration so as to decrease this alarming trend.

Doug Worthington, former president of Harmony Family Services, Inc., is in practice with Abilene Diagnostic Clinic.

Clinic, PLLC.