Saturday, March 28, 1998

Moments of Grace

The death earlier today (March 22) of a young friend has caused me to reflect on the differences in people.

I first met Danny Orrell in the '80s when he was living with his grandparents, going to college and working at the local grocery store. It was not until 1992 that I met his mother and we became co-workers and friends.

Danny and his mother spent the last four months under the same roof -- something they had not done in more than a decade.

Since Danny was diagnosed with lung cancer, a rarity for someone in his 20s, Pam nursed his failing health, fielded a thousand phones calls, cooked Danny's favorite meals, only to be met with nausea and/or disinterest, and wept when alone, thinking of what lay ahead for her family.

Danny's illness had the uncanny knack of revealing the true nature of those persons associated with him and his family during his four-month ordeal.

Persons who had the power to render aid, comfort and assistance invoked bureaucratic red tape to delay and deny. Dying a single death is difficult enough, but to repeatedly die "little deaths" on a daily basis is more than one human should have to endure.

However, unexpected kindnesses came from sales people, offers of a place for Pam to stay in Abilene when Danny was hospitalized, the post office, the grocery store, the convenience store, and feed store. Precious, caring, loving concern poured from such unexpected places!

Prayer circles, groups, congregations and individuals offered countless prayers to ask for healing, understanding and ultimately acceptance of the death of a beloved child.

But I have also witnessed the thoughtlessness of flippant remarks and idiotic comparisons.

Many times God sends into our lives special people who will give us a glimpse of both good and evil in order that we might use those examples to change either ourselves or our environment.

I am forever grateful to Danny Orrell and Pam Willson for coming into my life and will be forever saddened to have lost Danny from it.

I will forever think carefully about what I say to the friend or loved one of a person with a life-threatening illness, and I will say it carefully in order that I not cause added pain, but especially that I might not cause a "little death."

Elaine F. Lee

Clyde

(Editor's note: Danny Orrell is the son of Phil and Pam Orrell Willson of Clyde and Roger and Donna Orrell of Daytona, Fla. Danny's father, Roger, is a former ACU track and field star and also a former Abilene fireman.)