Saturday, September 19, 1998

If Jesus came to San Francisco

By STEPHANIE SALTER

San Francisco Examiner

Sometimes, just to stay sane, I imagine what it would be like if Jesus came back, physically, among us. Would he spend his time condemning homosexuality and women preachers -- something he never did the last time around -- or would he stick to his main message that we should love God and our neighbor and care for the poor, sick and imprisoned?

The Rev. Declan Deane, one courageous Jesuit priest from St. Monica's parish in Moraga, Calif., did some similar imagining last month as part of the West Coast Call to Action convention in Belmont.

Based in Chicago, Call to Action is a group of nuns, brothers, laity and a few priests. In 1996, the group was among many cited by the bishop of Lincoln, Neb., as "perilous to and incompatible with the Catholic faith" and a cause for excommunication. Why? As part of their quest for a more inclusive, Christ-like faith, the group's members encourage discussion of such subjects as the second-class citizenship of Catholic females. Pope John Paul II has declared that such discussions by Catholic faithful violate the church's "infallible" teachings.

In a homily delivered during the convention's closing Mass, Deane imagined Jesus landing at San Francisco International and heading to the Commonwealth Club where he is a substitute for the originally scheduled speaker "Deepak Shupra," who was to have lectured on "Finding Peace of Mind." When Jesus hears that his lecture fee is $25,000, he says: "Go and disperse it among the poor and homeless in the street."

During his lecture, he tells the audience that they can find peace of mind by avoiding greed in all forms. He advises them to sell all their possessions and give everything to the poor. The audience grouses that Deepak Shupra would have been more inspiring.

Next, Jesus is invited to dinner with all the city's religious leaders by the archbishop of San Francisco. Jesus says he can't come that night because he's already agreed to have dinner at a restaurant "with some of his friends from the gay and lesbian, bisexual and transgender community." He invites the religious leaders to join him, but they decline.

After that, everywhere Jesus goes, he is followed by protesters from the Christian Coalition. They carry signs that claim: "This is not the Christ. He welcomes sinners and dines with them."

Jesus visits prisoners in San Quentin and talks about the sanctity of all human life "from the unborn child in the womb to my humble friends on Death Row." Before long, he has "alienated both liberals and conservatives." The number of his followers decreases.

Among those who don't desert Jesus are a group of faithful women. So obvious is their presence, Jesus is questioned by the Vatican's U.S. representative. He tells Jesus the women are "giving a bad impression" because it looks like Jesus thinks they can be ministers equally with men.

Jesus quotes St. Paul: "In Christ there is neither male nor female, but all are one in him." The papal nunzio asks: "Do you think you know better than the Holy Father (the pope)?" Jesus says: "Before the Holy Father was, I am."

In a few hours, Jesus is under investigation by the Vatican's keeper of Catholic orthodoxy, the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

Over the next few days, Jesus recommends that people become more childlike. He eats dinner at the home of a Mafia godfather, who promptly gives half of what he owns to the poor and pledges to pay back all whom he has defrauded "four times over." Jesus pronounces the man a "child of God" and is denounced by politicians as a "dangerous radical." The FBI starts trailing him.

Then Jesus heals the servant of a Muslim after he says he can tell that Jesus is "from God." Jesus lauds the Muslim's faith. Jesus receives death threats and must flee San Francisco for another place.

End of Deane's homily.

In July, Pope John Paul II issued a couple of pronouncements aimed primarily at curbing liberal clergy and theologians in the United States. One declared that teachings that deviate from Catholicism's "definitive truths" -- bans on euthanasia, female priests and sex outside of marriage -- violate church law. Transgressors can be punished with anything from a warning to excommunication.

Deane did his imagining in front of 300 people and allowed his homily to be reprinted. As I said, he is one brave priest.

(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service.)