Thursday, November 27, 1997

Reality check: Give me some feedback

By Richelle Tremaine / Knight-Ridder Newspapers

If things at your workplace don't seem to be going your way, perhaps you need feedback.

"Self perception is so important, especially in today's world. You want the 10 people around you to have the same perception of you that you have," said LeAnna Wilson, director of the Business and Industry Institute at Johnson County Community College. "But people are often surprised to find their own perception of themselves is different from how their co-workers see them. You want it to be the same."

One way to test the waters is to get feedback.

"This point is so important. If things are not going the way you want them to go, get some feedback," said Wilson.

Feedback, explains Ana-Elena Jensen, who teaches organizational communications at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, is a process of sending a message to someone (a receiver), in response to an original message sent out by the receiver. It's on-going. Verbal and nonverbal. In communicating, "We're all senders and receivers," said Jensen.

Typically, individuals can get feedback at work three ways, she said. From a supervisor, from a task ("You can get immediate feedback from the task you're working on when you've completed it") and from co-workers, clients and customers.

Wilson said that feedback also can come from spouses, friends and even your children.

Wilson compared constructive feedback to a gift. When feedback is timely, accurate, useful and clear, it is given with the best intentions.

"You may not want it, but it's for you," said Wilson.

She uses the analogy: When you touch a hot stove, you know immediately that it's hot and respond accordingly.

"That's how critical feedback is. People don't typically want to do things wrong, they just don't realize they are doing it wrong," she said.

It's important to note that in giving feedback, it should focus on task-related behavior.

She gave this example: "I noticed you were late on that report, can we talk about it?" Instead of: "You don't care about getting the project done on time."

Note the difference.

Both parties in the feedback exchange have responsibilities, said Wilson. The feedback giver has the responsibility to do it right. And, people who are receiving the feedback have the responsibility to listen, and to say thank you. (Because feedback is meant to help.)

One last note that's vital to doing this right, added Wilson. "I give positive feedback with constructive feedback. But I do not give it together at the same time. Otherwise, you risk coming off insincere. Sitting at the desk saying, ÔThat report was well thought out, but...' "

The receiver knows the negative part is coming, and it downplays the positive, she explained. It's best to give both, but at different times. It balances itself out.

And balance is good.

Once you have the feedback, take notes. Wilson pointed out that it's hard to change behaviors that may be ingrained since birth.

Wilson offered suggestions to nudge behavior in the right direction:

--You've got to want to do it. You've got to view it as important. (This applies to all areas of life.)

--Recognize a lot of it is habit -- no different than other habits. Just get on with replacing bad habits with the good.

--It's self-perception. "Some people have a real misperception of themselves." If you say to a person, ÔTell me what I'm thinking,' well, they can't do that. But if you say, ÔTell me how I'm behaving today,' they can make a perception of you," said Wilson.

--Then, once you've gotten the feedback, Jensen recommended doing a bit of "perception checking." The receiver should do this to ensure they understand the message. For example, "Let me make sure I understand what you are saying ..."