What's so bad about sex in the Army

By MIKE ROYKO

If men and women are going to serve together in the military, the rules regarding sex should be changed. That's the only way to avert what the headline writers and broadcasters breathlessly refer to as "sex scandals."

Think about it: The military might be the last place in our society where it is possible to have a "sex scandal."

It doesn't happen in the world of entertainment, where Madonna and other big stars have children without benefit of marriage and nobody even snickers about it.

In sports, some of the top names have fathered children by this or that female acquaintance even before they quit college for pro careers.

And in politics, we have a president who was re-elected and saw his popularity rating go up while facing a sex-related lawsuit and rumors he was one of the most active two-legged tomcats in Arkansas.

Nobody would be shocked if they saw a headline that said: "College students engaging in sex" or "Professor reported sleeping with teaching assistant."

And in Chicago, a most conservative city, the mayor has said he wants to give health benefits and such to the live-in partners of homosexual city workers. That this mayor's name is Daley is the only shocking aspect to it.

But we're supposed to be wide-eyed that in an army that has more than 50,000 females training and working closely with a few hundred thousand males, there would be an occasional surrender to glandular urgings.

So what happens? What is really a predictable occurrence turns into a scandal, with people locked in stockades and put on military trial for engaging in that which happens every Friday night in singles bars across the nation: making out.

We have female soldiers holding a news conference to say they engaged in "consensual" sex, but superiors tried to bully them into saying it was rape.

If that's true, the bullying and distorting of what actually happened is far worse than anything that went on between the sheets. It's trying to pin a fake criminal charge on someone. And the people who do that should be locked up and court-martialed themselves.

The main concern about sex in the military appears to be that some cads will use their higher rank to persuade lower-ranking females into satisfying their lusts.

And that is bad behavior, whether it is in the military, private industry or anywhere else. It also is a mark of poor character and a lack of initiative. If a guy can't seduce a female on the up and up, he ought to be ashamed of himself and give it up.

But it can happen. A person with more military rank is in a position to use intimidation or rewards in exchange for sexual favors.

I will be frank. When I was a young enlisted man, had a female officer told me she would give me an assignment that would exempt me from KP and guard duty and permit me to sleep late in the morning and play poker half the night if I would satisfy her animal desires, I would have stifled my pride and allowed her to use my body. Yes, I might have wept tears of shame afterward, but I would have done it. Some guys are just weak sluts.

So that is the real problem - the use of the power that comes with rank.

It is naive and unrealistic to expect that with thousands of healthy, vigorous young people being in such close proximity, there will not be natural urges.

The solution is not to outlaw sex, which just leads to silly scandals of the sort we have now.

The answer is to change the military's sex rules.

Sex should be permitted when it involves consenting people of the same rank. That would not only help eliminate the possibility of harassment and favoritism but would be fair, and fairness is always good for morale.

After all, why should a lowly male yardbird, or whatever they are now called, have to look on in envy while some drill sergeant or a commissioned officer has his way with a shapely female private?

If a male officer wants to engage in hanky-panky, he should find a willing female officer.

Stars and Stripes and other military publications could start running the kind of classified ads that are now common in civilian life:

"Lean and vigorous male lieutenant colonel wants to meet like-minded female lieutenant colonel for quiet 10-mile forced marches, working out on obstacle courses, fireplace discussions of Alexander the Great's siege tactics and going to off-base motels to really mess around. Non-smokers only."

Chicago Tribune