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'Floral goddess' promises to do all but 'smell
the roses'
By Bill Whitaker
If you saw red over the campaign for each and every Abilenian
to "get your bed ready" for crape myrtles, you likely
would have had a fit at Diane Schkade's home Saturday night.
When pal Barbara Knudson retired from the floral department
at Albertson's on Buffalo Gap Road, fellow flower arranger Diane
decided to throw her a "deflowering party," in honor
of Barbara's decision to do anything but "smell the roses."
Asked why her friend had decided to leave the floral department,
Diane didn't pause a moment.
"She's just sick of flowers," she said. "I mean,
being a florist, she never has a romantic Valentine's Day. When
you're a florist, you can actually come to <I>hate<I>
Valentine's Day. We help others get lucky, but we just stay single
- and that's no fun."
Ask co-workers why Barbara Knudson has been such a presence
at the Albertson's store and they bubble forth with words like
"youthful," "energetic" and "free spirit."
Certainly she seems to know her customers, especially the men.
At the end of many a weekend, men wind up at the floral department,
each looking like a dog that knows it's done bad and beseeching
Barbara for advice on how to get back in the good graces of an
angry wife, girlfriend or, on rare occasion, both.
Often against her better judgment, Barbara renders aid.
OUT OF THE DOGHOUSE
"We always suggest a single rose," Barbara said of
ways to get misguided men out of the proverbial doghouse. "A
single red rose means 'I love you' and a pink one means 'I love
you, I really mean it.' And a white one means 'forever.'<t>"
Barbara remembers the time one gentleman came in, seeking to
patch up a relationship he had somehow managed to put asunder:
"He said with what he'd done, he was going to have to buy
a rose every day for a month - and he did.
"And then, at the end of the month, he bought her a dozen
roses. It must have done the trick, because he didn't come back
after that."
Barbara and Diane say the one thing Albertson's floral department
is criticized for is not providing delivery, though they do try
to tell customers it's more worthwhile to deliver the flowers
personally, "so they can see the smile on their beloved's
face."
Once, a man came in and asked for flowers - not for his girlfriend
but for her grandma. Upon learning he'd have to deliver them himself,
he complained, only to be told how totally delighted the old lady
would no doubt be to get flowers from her granddaughter's beau.
"You don't understand," the man said. "I'll be
taking these to the funeral home!"
With maybe a few exceptions such as that, Barbara, along with
pal Diane, has always steered men right.
"When these guys come in, they don't know what to get
a woman," deli manager Pam Robinson told me. "But Barbara
knows."
OUT OF A CAKE
Besides working in the store's floral department almost seven
years, Barbara once ran a shop called Vill Tings, which is supposedly
Norwegian for "Wild Things." Once again, this divorced
mother of four kept business colorful and upbeat, right along
with her faithful pal Diane Schkade.
A strict fitness buff who watches what she eats, Barbara kept
her image as a free spirit alive well into her 50s, often delivering
certain romantic offerings (including flowers) from her shop in
person. On one occasion she jumped out of a cake dressed as a
Playboy bunny.
Diane also helped out, going to the doors and desks of loved
ones dressed either as Cupid or an S&M mistress, complete
with handcuffs and whip.
"I retained the outfits for my own private use,"
Diane said of her more risque costumes. "And you know what?
The only man to still see me naked is my gynecologist!"
Diane, 37, said she needs all the help she can get, especially
when she and Barbara, 61, are out on the town. Seems Barbara tends
to draw all the men, pretty much like flies on candy, "but
that's not so bad, because I get the leftovers."
Barbara says she intends to keep busy, especially in regard
to her passion for portrait-painting. She doesn't rule out setting
up another shop specializing in "wild things," either,
possibly with Diane.
One thing is sure, though. She'll be missed by the gang at
Albertson's.
"We've joked about Barbara, but one thing should be pointed
out," said 38-year-old Heidi Martin, sometimes confused for
Barbara. "The fact is she's an inspiration to all of us,
because of her outlook on life. She has a dynamic personality.
"I think that's what attracts people."
Bill Whitaker, who never imagined flowering objects could prove
so risque in Abilene, can be reached at 676-6732. E-mail Bill
at WTWARN@aol.com.
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Copyright ©1996 or
1997, Abilene Reporter-News / Texnews / E.W. Scripps. Publications
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