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Crape myrtle 'sex scandal' prompts laughter
across state
By Bill Whitaker
If those charged with cleaning up Abilene agree on one thing,
it's that sex sells.
Especially when it involves plants.
As faithful readers know, a front-page story appeared in the
Abilene Reporter-News last Friday about a campaign encouraging
one and all to buy flowering crape myrtles to dress up Abilene.
The story also concerned one or two people who took offense at
the campaign's billboards.
The billboards around town feature a shapely woman of high
class. They read: "Myrtle's coming. Get your bed ready."
Which, of course, those one or two people in our fair city
of 116,000 took as needlessly suggesting sex or at least planting
the notion in young minds.
Folks who don't know this city well might say it's typical
of Abilene, with its Bible Belt mentality and puritanical values,
but that's not exactly fair. In fact, the other 115,998 people
in town have simply laughed off the very idea of Abilene Clean
& Proud billboards promoting rampant sex.
What's more, some folks have decided to show how ridiculous
they think such criticisms are by going out and buying crape myrtles
-- something they might not have done had the billboards not drawn
fire.
But more surprising has been the attention settling on Donna
Albus, head of Abilene Clean & Proud. A pivotal member of
the campaign to drape Abilene in crape myrtles and a lightning
rod for all publicity, good and bad, Donna discovered, to her
surprise, the scandal had gained headlines far beyond Abilene.
DIRTY MINDS KNOW
Just how far did the story go?
"Well, it made the front page of the Galveston paper,"
Donna told me. "Got a call at 8:30 Saturday morning from
a friend who lives in Galveston and saw me in the paper there.
Then I got a call from Betsy Howie, director of Keep Texas Beautiful.
She'd gotten a fax of it from someone in Fort Worth."
"Donna, we may have to rescind your affiliation with us,"
Betsy said. "Any affiliation dealing in sex, we just have
to rescind."
Fortunately, the state director was joking, but it's been like
that ever since the story surfaced, first in the hometown newspaper,
then in papers across the state. Donna says the story has even
been reported on Cable News Network.
Meanwhile, all the local fervor hasn't died down yet.
"I've had people come by and bring me flowers and ask
how I'm doing," Donna said. "The phone was ringing off
the hook Friday and 90 percent of them were telling me how absurd
the whole thing was." One man who identified himself as being
87 years old "said he thought the billboards really were
about sex -- and that I was doing a great job!"
Another man told one of Donna's pals not to worry about anyone
reading sex into the billboards.
"You tell Donna to stick to her guns," the man said.
"I've got the dirtiest mind in town and I thought they were
talking about mattresses!"
REGULAR S&M MISTRESS
Donna might ordinarily frown at this sort of media attention,
but it's actually been good. Crape myrtle orders are coming in
like crazy. The upcoming 30th anniversary of Alta Vista Elementary
has prompted a huge order there, and Thomas Elementary has ordered
more than 80 of the flowery plants.
Hardin-Simmons University ordered 225 crape myrtles this week,
the golf course in Clyde ordered 100, and BFI, which runs the
local landfill operation, has purchased 250 and donated them to
be planted in public places around Abilene.
In addition, other cities around Abilene are ordering the crape
myrtles.
"We're just selling crape myrtles out the wazoo,"
Donna said.
So the bizarre publicity certainly hasn't hurt. In fact, Abilene
and the surrounding area may be blooming crazy because of it.
Veteran newsman and public relations whiz Harvey Johnston even
phoned Abilene Clean & Proud to congratulate all involved
for a campaign that sparked public interest in, of all things,
crape myrtles: "They really deserve to win an Addy for best
advertising campaign of the year."
Of course, none of this is new to those who know Donna Albus
and her pals, Janet Ardoyno of Make a Difference Day and Cindy
Moore, who is heading up the public drive to sell crape myrtles.
One finds something just a little outrageous about them to begin
with.
Just the other day someone mentioned Donna and the crape myrtle
campaign to one of Donna's grown sons.
"Yeah, my mom's into S&M," he said wearily. "Soil
and mulch!"
Anyone wanting more information on this botanically scandalous
campaign to plant crape myrtles around Abilene can call 928-6080.
Leave a message for "the madam."
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Copyright ©1996 or
1997, Abilene Reporter-News / Texnews / E.W. Scripps. Publications
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