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Book answers age-old question of why girls
'go wrong'
By Bill Whitaker
Hey, kids! Break out the Crayons and beg your parents to buy
you the 300-page, anatomically correct Human Brain Coloring Book.
That's right -- every slice, section and sliver of the human
brain, right down to your parietal lobe, brain stem and spinal
cord, is on each and every exciting page for 300 pages, awaiting
someone to color it all in.
And you thought the brain was just a dull gray sponge.
Actually, this bizarre offering -- seemingly written for pre-med
students with Crayons -- proves something else. It's evidence
almost anything you can slap between two covers will surface at
the local American Association of University Women chapter used
book sale.
Which just happens to begin at noon today at 3116 N. 1st in
the Briarwood Shopping Center near Luskey's. It runs through Saturday.
As is my habit, I've dug through some of the musty titles to give
you a preview. If none of those I've mentioned sounds like something
you want to buy, then go out yourself and find something better.
You won't leave empty-handed.
DEAR OLD WHATZISNAME
Certainly this year's AAUW used book sale once again stresses
variety. I'm told they have an unusual abundance of excellent
used books -- a couple of truckloads, in fact -- from a school
library in Ackerly. Most are for children and teens.
"And then someone must've gotten rid of all his books
on air conditioning and refrigeration," AAUW member Ann Lobdell
told me, "because we got 'em all."
Some volumes are bound to be collector's items, including a
handsome 1891 volume titled Memorial Addresses on the Life and
Character of James B. Beck, Senator from Kentucky. The whole book
is nothing but eulogies, funeral orations and fond farewells for
a guy nobody today can remember.
Naturally, all the speeches come from other politicians who,
again, nobody can remember.
One of the most intriguing books and certainly one of the heaviest
is a volume tactfully titled Self Knowledge and Guide to Sex Instruction
(1913), including such sections as "Why Most Girls Go Wrong."
(The answer: Their mothers don't teach 'em right!)
Some books can be put to good use, no matter how old they are.
For instance, those who run large farming operations might find
it handy to grab George and Rex Kelly's Farm and Ranch Spanish
(1972), which helps farmers and the immigrant workers they tap
to communicate better.
Most Tex-Mex phrases are simple comments or questions, such
as "I pay $5 a day and a house to live in," or "Do
you have any papers?" The most interesting are for trips
to town: "If you wish to drink one or two beers, it is OK
with me, but if you come back drunk at 4, I will not take you
home."
PERFECT FOR HALLOWEEN!
My favorite book is actually a scrapbook full of clipped, decades-old
info-cartoons of "This Curious World." Among other things,
we learn that, in New Guinea, "widows in the Bena Bena tribes
carry the skulls of their departed husbands about with them for
the rest of their lives."
Presumably, someone has removed and colored their brains.
The booklet Everyday Witchcraft (1972) promises all sorts of
revelations about love magic, charms and spells, fortune-telling,
"everything you need to enjoy occult." Of course, some
of it isn't very nice, as the following reveals:
"To cause insomnia, steal a piece of your enemy's clothing
and a few strands of his hair. On a moonless night, sprinkle the
clothing with bits of straw, then burn the hair and rub the clothing
with the ashes. Bury the whole shebang near your enemy's house.
He'll toss and turn in his bed for weeks."
While plenty of cute children's books are for sale this year,
probably best to keep the small fry away from How to Raise Rabbits
for Food and Fur (1952), which is all too graphically illustrated.
Less intense is Outwitting Squirrels by Bill Adler.
Among the cures for troublesome squirrels: "Strip insulation
off the power lines that run through your neighborhood. The next
time the squirrel tries to run along the line will be his last
time."
Probably yours, too, if you get to actively stripping insulation
off a power line.
The AAUW used book sale runs from noon to 8:30 p.m. today,
10 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. Friday and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday. Bids
are being accepted on some rare volumes but most books are $1.50
for hardbacks and $1 for paperbacks.
Incidentally, Ann Lobdell informs us that, in answer to the
question that gets asked each and every year, "If it bends,
it's a paperback, and if it doesn't, it's a hardback."
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Copyright ©1996 or
1997, Abilene Reporter-News / Texnews / E.W. Scripps. Publications
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