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Mr. Swan scuttles all notions about living long and well

By Bill Whitaker

Fred Swan is living proof you need not embrace the early-to-rise lifestyle to become healthy, wealthy and wise.

Just the other day, Fred left his comfortably immaculate, upper-middle-class home in northwest Abilene to dispense wit and wisdom at his 95th birthday -- and he was late arriving at that.

Up till midnight or beyond, he seldom rises before the sun has climbed high in the sky. He breakfasts when others are thinking of lunch. Neighbors sometimes pick the Reporter-News off his driveway and toss it on his porch, lest some stray dog steal it before Fred's finally ready to read it.

This time of year makes Fred's heart quicken, though. Besides the fact his birthday is in December, today marks his 59th wedding anniversary to wife Tressie. Almost as important, a few days from now brings Fred another year closer to a cherished goal. "I worked for International Harvester for 37 years and my goal is to live in retirement just as long," he told me during his party. "Well, I retired Dec. 31, 1967, so I've still got a few more years to go. But I'm doing pretty good as it is.

"I've been on the payroll 30 years now without doing a tap of work, so it's an ideal situation."

Granted, as witty in word and sure in footing as Fred is, he was attending his birthday party at Hendrick Medical Center's pulmonary rehab division, where Fred received treatment for pulmonary fibrosis a couple of years ago.

But while some of Fred's fellow graduates of the successful and still relatively new program still require oxygen for chronic respiratory woes, Fred -- older than any of them -- moved freely among them the other day, and under his own steam. Still Fred -- who has no children of his own -- showed plenty of understanding for the others assembled, many of them young enough to be his children: "Shame we all had to get ill to get together."

Fred's wit is no doubt inherited. He enjoys talking about his grandfather, Clark E. Swan,who hailed from New York, fought in the Union Army of Northern Virginia in the Civil War under Ulysses S. Grant and later moved to Iowa, where, his wife complained, he lost all his polished New York manners.

"She complained about being out there in Iowa and roughing it and how he wasn't keeping up with his manners, either," Fred said. "A few days after they got there, she began correcting him on how he was eating -- which fork to use and all that."

When Grandfather Swan left Iowa briefly to go to Washington for a soldiers' reunion hosted by President Grant, he cabled a wire back to his wife: "Having fine time. Visited with president but am only one here with manners."

Fred, too, hails from New York and likewise lived for a while in Iowa, where he got a job with International Harvester. His many years with the company eventually brought him to the Southwest, including Sweetwater and Abilene.

Although he worked his way up into management, he said the work was too hard there, so he got into into sales.

"Personally, I feel sorry for men who want to be president of the company or chairman of the board," he told hospital staffers at his birthday party. "The work's too hard -- and hard work killed more men than alcohol ever did."

Fred told those half his age to "live to enjoy retirement.

"Don't work hard," he said. "I hired three men who turned out to be my boss later on and they're all dead, and they've been dead for at least 10 years."

So much for encouraging words about climbing up the ladder and working hard all your life.

At one point, Fred told 26-year-old audiologist Jennifer Thomson how pretty men young and old found her, then reminded her that "if you don't work hard, they'll still be looking at you when you're my age."

Fred also stressed the importance of material things. He likes telling folks how he won over his wife only because he promised her a long honeymoon -- and he says he might not have secured her attention at all if he hadn't had a good set of wheels at his disposal.

"I bought a Packard, a black, '37 Packard with one wheel mounted on the fender and a hood on it as big as this table," he said. "I think the Packard had something to do with it. The rest of the guys were on foot!" Fred says he knew he'd found the right soul mate when they were wrapping up a vacation in New Mexico in 1939 and, low on cash, he offered Tressie two choices: They could either buy a bottle of scotch, enjoy themselves and sleep in the car or put what little cash they toward a motel room.

Tressie chose the first option.

And so, another illusion about what it takes to lead a long and healthy life went quietly into the dustbin of time.

Although Bill Whitaker intends to play Grinch the rest of this holiday week and not answer the phone at work, you can leave a message for him at 676-6732.

 

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