Saturday, July 19, 1997

Our children deserve a sound moral foundation

By JOY THOMPSON / Knight-Ridder Newspapers

After expressing my reservations about the Disney boycott in last week's column, I received several calls and letters from readers that were overwhelmingly positive. However, a couple of readers interpreted my lack of enthusiasm for the boycott as shame for the Bible and its stand on controversial issues.

Regular readers of this column know that I am open about my life as a Christian and I agree with what the Bible says is right and wrong. Sometimes, I get criticized for my views and that's hard. But the Bible teaches that for a follower of Jesus Christ, criticism comes with the territory. It forces me to trust God even more.

At the same time, the Bible also teaches that Christians should pick their battles wisely. And I feel the time and effort spent on fighting Disney could be focused on more fruitful endeavors. Instead of arguing about the loss of values in society, we should concentrate on teaching moral values, in word and deed, to our friends and neighbors, and especially to our children.

Pastor J. Arthur Lossner of Our Savior Lutheran Church in Bellflower, Calif., made a similar point in a telephone message last weekend: "Instead of wasting our time with boycotts, which will probably will have no effect, we should spend our time raising our children properly - teaching them to pray, teaching them God's word, taking them to church and Sunday school." I agree.

It is easy to point the finger for society's problems at huge corporations, bloated bureaucracies and abstract figureheads. These are distant, impersonal entities - easy targets if you will. But society is made up of individuals, individuals making decisions affecting their lives and others. Those decisions will be based on their moral codes and values. And those moral codes and values are learned from someone, somewhere.

We tend to cling to the opinions and ideals of the people we respect and admire. That could be a parent, guardian or relative, best friend, neighbor, store owner, the teacher who pays attention to to you in class or the gangsters on the street corner who call you "brother." We can fault big government and big business for all the ills of the world, but the root of the problem is as near to us as the family room, bedroom and dining room table. The problem starts at home.

It was sobering to read recently what adults think of today's children and teen-agers. According to the poll, conducted by Ronald McDonald House Charities and Public Agenda for the Advertising Council, most adults view kids as disrespectful, irresponsible and dishonest. They feel that teens today are more immoral than they were growing up. In a nutshell, they see don't see much of a future for the upcoming generation. And that's pitiful.

After reading the results of the survey, one of the questions that came to my mind was "Exactly who are these kids adults dislike so much?" An answer quickly followed: They are our kids.

Adults can hardly fault today's children without first faulting themselves. If children have changed from the way they used to be, that's because the adults have changed. It's today's adults who use work as an excuse for spending time with children. It's today's adults who spoil their children by catering to their every whim instead of setting reasonable boundaries and teaching them what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. It's today's adults who want their children to be free, independent spirits, in order to make up for all the restrictions they had to put up with growing up. Yet, these adults forget that with freedom comes responsibility.

Responsibility. Rearing kids is an incredible responsibility. It takes patience. It takes self-denial. It takes love and tears. If we want our children to grow up to be moral, responsible adults, we have to accept the responsibility for teaching them. The Bible is a great place to start.

The other day while reading the biblical book of Ecclesiastes I came across these verses: "Do not say, 'Why were the old days better than these?' For it is not wise to ask such questions. Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun." Eccl. 7:10-11 (NIV)

The best inheritance we can give our children is a sound moral foundation, reinforced by love and the example we set for them. Now that's a real cause to rally behind.

(Joy Thompson is an editorial writer for the Long Beach Press-Telegram. You can write to her at 604 Pine Ave., Long Beach, Calif. 90844.)