Saturday, March 8, 1997

Beam your prayers into outer space

By Michael O'Connor

I wish I could say I made what follows up, but I can't. My wife found this the other night while trying to do some research on radiotelescopes. (She's a science teacher; what can I say?)

Some enterprising satellite antenna owners are willing to beam your prayers into "space, into time, ... into forever." Calling their service a direct link to heaven, they say they have applied modern technology to mankind's spiritual needs.

According to the information on their web site, radio waves will endure until the end of the universe, so any information you beam into space will last essentially forever - what they refer to as an unprecedented lifetime guarantee.

The firm is offering the chance, they claim, to place our prayers directly before God in heaven.

"Until now, the best you could do was to say prayers aloud in the hope that He would hear," the site's author's write. "You might also pray silently and believe that He knows what is in your thoughts. Prayers, especially thankful ones, are often published as advertisements in newspapers, but we have to say (with no disrespect) that there is not much evidence that God subscribes to daily newspapers."

Your prayers, they promise, will have substance because they are now composed of radio waves, and will be "out there, ready to say to any Heavenly Power who gives it attention: 'I am here, Lord, and I wanted to tell You ...' "

uggestions for the kinds of messages you might want to beam heavenward include, beside traditional prayers, vows and things you wish you had said to someone who is now dead. (I presume they have radios in heaven and the dear departed would be able to tune in and find out that you're really sorry for all the ugly things you said to his or her face.)

The cost for this high-tech miracle? Just $9.95 per page. This price includes a "handsome" 8.5 by 11 inch broadcast certificate, which is of course suitable for framing.

If you are suitably wired for the Internet and wish to check this site out for yourself, set your browser for http://www.primenet.com/(tilde)prayers/.

While we're webbing, I want to put in a plug for the Reporter-News website, Texnews.com. Among the new areas there is a religion section that carries much of the content of our religion section and a bunch of religion articles and commentary that we can't get in the paper because we don't have the space.

And for those of you who might want to read the entire saga of First United Christian Baptist Church, my fictional congregation, set your browser for http://members.aol.com/wayneoconn/fucb.htm . All the episodes are posted, and as new ones are written, they will be added to the site.

Michael O'Connor is Night City Editor for the Abilene Reporter-News and is an ordained United Methodist minister. He can be reach by e-mail at wayneoconn@aol.com.