Saturday, May 17, 1997

My grandmother is a professional worrier

By Joy Thompson / Knight-Ridder Newspapers

LONG BEACH, Calif. - Some of us have hobbies. I am convinced that my grandmother's hobby is worrying. Or perhaps, it is her profession. Well, I propose for her and others like her that it is time for a career change.

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." -Proverbs 12:25 (NIV) (

My grandmother, who lives in North Carolina, can make the most harmless event seem like a life-and-death situation. It started just after I was born. I was given the middle name Anastasia. My grandmother, to put it mildly, freaked out. She knew that in 1957, a Mafia crime boss named Albert Anastasia was killed in New York. She thought it was a bad omen. She's disliked my middle name ever since.

I now believe that event was an omen - a sign of how my grandmother's anxious thoughts would follow me for the rest of my days.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

Just the other week, for example, I happened to mention to my grandmother in a letter that I had gone to Los Angeles. Mind you, this wasn't the main subject of the letter; I merely mentioned it as a matter of fact. Don't you know I got a letter from her this past weekend warning me of the horrible dangers lurking in L.A.?

But why shouldn't she be concerned? I've only been living in Southern California for at least five years, and I've only visited Los Angeles, oh say, 100 times, and I am only a 30-year-old woman who pretty much has been on her own since she left home for college at the age of 16. Why would anyonze assume that I had any clue as to how to take care of myself?

After reading the letter, I rolled with laughter. "How sweet," I thought. "She's still worried about me after all these years." I pinned the letter on my bulletin board as a constant reminder that the woman who reared me still loves me in her own special paranoid way.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." -I Peter 5:6-7

Over the years, I've learned to laugh off most of her more irrational fears. Gone is the fear of black cats crossing my path. Gone is the phobia of spilled table salt. Gone is the dread of walking under open ladders, opening umbrellas in the house and setting brooms down with the bristles up. (Did I mention that my grandmother is superstitious?)

Yet, sometimes I am concerned about her worrying. I don't want her lying awake at night thinking the worst has happened to me. I don't want her spending her time pacing the floor and worrying her last days away. My grandmother is getting old. She has lived a full life, reared two families - her children and two of her grandchildren. I want her to enjoy her senior years in peace.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. ... Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" -Matthew 6:25-26

If I could I would give my grandmother the gift of retirement from worrying. Many others could also benefit from this gift. If you haven't noticed already, this column is full of subliminal spiritual messages about not worrying. Sometimes, it is difficult to talk people out of their fears. But as little nagging thoughts work to rob us of peace of mind, my hope is that these Scriptures will help restore that peace.

Experience has taught me how not to be a source of worry for my parents. In conversations and letters, I have become selective about the news I share with my grandmother. I usually tell her the good things going on in my life and downplay the negative parts. I'm an adult now, and as a Christian, I have developed a strong faith in God. I can handle most of life's little setbacks. And what my grandmother doesn't know won't hurt her.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. ... And the God of peace will be with you." -Philippians 4:8-9

(Joy Thompson is an editorial writer for the Long Beach Press-Telegram. You can write to her at 604 Pine Ave., Long Beach, Calif. 90844.)

(c) 1997, Press-Telegram (Long Beach, Calif.).

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