Saturday, October 18, 1997

Worship changes you, even if you don't feel changed

By Tom Schaefer

Knight-Ridder Newspapers

I used to go to church.

Let me restate that.

I go to church, but often it's not at the congregation I call home. And I miss it.

Going to church, you may have heard, is an endangered activity. Although young people aren't flocking to local congregations, there are signs suggesting that, in time, more of them may show up.

Generation Xers (those born from 1963 to 1976) are more likely to have a great deal of confidence in organized religion than baby boomers do, several surveys have found. They also say that attending church regularly is important to them. While the percentage of Generation Xers who feel this way is just slightly higher than the percentage of baby boomers, researchers say there is a ray of hope for the ecclesiastically committed.

Since, in general, people tend to become more religious as they age, researchers say, more people from Generation X can be expected to return to church as they start families than did boomers.

"Overall, we must conclude that, popular rhetoric notwithstanding, the prognosis for organized religion generally is quite good," said David Machacek, a researcher who has studied the data on religion and young people.

Even many boomers, who once scorned organized religion, are finding all kinds of reasons to re-enter church doors: Parents have decided their children need spiritual grounding. Older adults (a burgeoning population) have begun to feel their own mortality. Young and old alike have concluded that society's problems as well as the ultimate questions of life and death can't be solved by scientific advancements or by federal and state governments.

In my case, I never drifted away, at least not until the last year or so. That's when my in-laws moved to southeast Kansas. Soon after, my father-in-law required nursing home care. Now, at least two or three weekends a month, my wife and I travel to the town of Chanute to visit her mother and father, helping out in any way we can. Fortunately, we're able to go to my brother-in-law's church where, in the company of other believers, we sing, pray, hear a thoughtful sermon and partake in the Eucharist.

I've often thought about this pull to be in a congregation of believers, acknowledging the presence of God in our lives. Why is it so important?

To be honest, there are times when I'm bored because a sermon rambles, a prayer is verbose or a hymn is uninspiring. I know about small-minded folks in congregations who can test your patience and your faith. And who hasn't grown weary of sameness in services, or of pledge drives and bake sales and pleas for Sunday school teachers? It's understandable why some folks head out the door and never come back. Why haven't I?

There are lots of reasons - personal reasons - why I find meaning in the weekly gathering, but I want to focus on one: Life has a rhythm to it, built in to creation itself. The rhythm calls for rest - a Sabbath. Without time set aside to commune with the Creator, the human spirit becomes famished. Sadly, we often don't know we're "dying."

That's why worshiping the God who created and sustains us is an important habit to cultivate, even when what's offered seems at times to be meager.

Sunday worship, in many respects, is a habit of the heart - somewhat akin to the habits of a couple who nurture their marriage relationship. Consider the connection between a simple ritual in marriage and a couple's intimacy. (Stay with me. The description provides an important insight to the value of worship.)

A survey found that couples who embraced and kissed at the door each morning before going their separate ways and did the same when they returned home seemed to have happier, more fulfilling and longer-lasting marriages than those who did not.

Then there was this surprising finding: "It didn't seem to matter whether or not in that moment the partners were fully 'engaged' or even sincere. Just a perfunctory peck on the cheek seemed to be enough - enough to make a difference in the quality of the relationship!" said the Rev. Paul Bosch in The American Organist magazine.

Worship, Bosch notes in shifting the discussion from human to spiritual relationships, can be like that.

"Even when worship seems perfunctory," he said, "it works its work in you; it shapes you; it molds you; it refines you; it elevates you."

Of course worship should be lively and meaningful, "that speaks in all the accents and voices of our times," he notes. Nonetheless, the rhythm of worship - especially in the weekly gathering of like-minded believers - helps shape who we are.

In large measure, I believe, that is why many folks stay in church - and why many others eventually return to it.

"When worship is over at noon on Sunday," Bosch concluded, "you're not the same person you were when you entered at 11," even if you don't feel any different as you leave.

To that, I and countless others humbly reply: "Amen!"

(Tom Schaefer writes about religion and ethics for the Wichita (Kan.) Eagle. Write to him at the Wichita Eagle, P.O. Box 820, Wichita, KS 67201, or send e-mail to tschaefer(at)wichitaeagle.com )

(c) 1997, The Wichita Eagle (Wichita, Kan.).

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