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Friday, April 25, 1997

Love keeps couple going in face of tragedy

By RON NISSIMOV

Houston Chronicle

HOUSTON - Mark Fearing and Julie Johnson aren't married yet, but they always wear their wedding rings.

"It helps us feel better," Ms. Johnson said last week in their apartment near West University Place.

The rings are a sign of their unwavering love for each other in the face of the tragedy that shattered their lives and their wedding plans.

Fearing, 33, wears his ring in the only place he can - on a necklace. He lost both his arms and legs nearly two years ago to the rare and often-deadly meningococcus bacteria.

The former college professor - who loved to play soccer, act in plays, snowboard and ride his Harley - also lost much of his hearing and some of his mental abilities due to brain damage from the illness.

It gets worse. The couple has no insurance to pay for the expensive rehabilitation that will hopefully enable Fearing to resume his career. Their wedding has been postponed indefinitely so he can focus on his rehabilitation.

Since he caught the illness while teaching in New Zealand, he will not qualify for Medicare until two years from now. They estimated that the rehabilitation costs could run as high as $500,000.

But when you look into Fearing's brown eyes - which intently try to read your lips as you speak - there's no hint of bitterness. Only heart-melting vulnerability and curiosity, like a boy in a new environment trying to absorb everything he can.

"I'm not angry, it's nobody's fault," Fearing said. "It's not my fault, it's not Julie's fault. I'm not angry at God either. I think God gets us through these things."

Ms. Johnson, 30, who met Fearing in 1993 while taking a business strategy course from him at the University of Houston, isn't so accepting.

"I'm bitter and angry, I can't look at old pictures any more," she said. "I have a hard time being reminded of what I don't have any more. Mark is different, how could he not be different? To be honest, the physical stuff doesn't bother me at all, but he's changed subtly."

Fearing's mind, which earned him a Ph.D. in management in 1993 from UH and then helped him land a teaching job in New Zealand, is not its former self. The meningitis bacteria caused some brain damage after attacking the lining of the brain and spinal cord - called the meninges - and cutting off blood flow to the brain and other organs.

Although he is obviously still intelligent, Fearing has many memory lapses and is at least temporarily unable to process information well enough to teach college courses.

One of the things that Fearing doesn't recall is asking Ms. Johnson to marry him.

"I don't remember proposing to her exactly, but she's convinced me that I did," he said with the impish sense of humor that has helped him cope with his plight.

Ms. Johnson remembered it well. She was a student in his class during their last semesters at UH. She was finishing her bachelor's degree in management, and Fearing asked her out as soon as the course was over.

"I thought she was hot," Fearing said about Ms. Johnson, a bubbly and thoughtful person. "All the grades were turned in, so I had the 'high sign.' "

Ms. Johnson knew Fearing would be leaving in three weeks to take a job at Lincoln University in Christchurch, on the South Island of New Zealand, but decided to go on the date anyway.

"There was something about him. I think it was his eyes. He had eyes that said, 'Trust me,' " she said. "I knew after the third date he was the one for me."

After a tearful goodbye, the couple kept in touch through letters and e-mail. Ms. Johnson declined an invitation to live with Fearing in New Zealand, staying with her job in the communications department of a Houston mutual funds company.

In August 1994, she visited Fearing and his parents in Dallas, where he was attending a professional conference. It was then he proposed to her outside a restaurant, and gave her an emerald-and-diamond ring.

"No matter what, he just won't remember this," Ms. Johnson said.

After agreeing to marry Fearing, Ms. Johnson spent the spring of 1995 in New Zealand with him, returning to Houston to plan a December wedding.

But a few months before the scheduled wedding, Fearing caught what he thought was the flu, having a fever and a stiff neck. As the symptoms quickly became unbearable, he asked his roommate to take him to the hospital. By now, Fearing had purple rashes on his skin, a sign that the bacteria had entered the bloodstream from the meninges and released its toxins that break open blood vessels.

On Sept. 22, 1995, Ms. Johnson received a call from Fearing's roommate telling her that he had been diagnosed with meningitis. She rushed to the airport after hospital officials told her "over and over the next 24 hours are critical."

During a 14-hour connecting flight to Sidney, Australia, Ms. Johnson said she "pretty much lost it."

"I was bawling my head off, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I had a window seat, and I remember looking at the stars and praying. I had tremendous amount of faith Mark would be alive when I landed."

Once on the ground, she called a friend in New Zealand and heard the first good news of the ordeal: Mark was still alive, although his kidneys had failed.

Fearing was in an induced coma, with his arms and legs purple and bloated. He hung onto life with the help of adrenaline to concentrate blood in his vital organs. This further depleted the blood supply to his limbs, and within three weeks they were all amputated just below the joints.

He lingered in a coma for 53 days. He frequently had high fevers. Doctors concluded that he had suffered an undetermined amount of brain damage because of interrupted blood flow.

But Ms. Johnson never gave up hope.

"I was by his side every day. I just kept talking to Mark every day. I'm telling him, 'Open your eyes, I know you can do it,' " she said. "All his friends were so supportive. They said there's so many things he could do again with the rehabilitation and technology."

Then, as she often did, Ms. Johnson asked Fearing what he thought of the processed food she was feeding him.

"He whispered, 'The food is awful,' " Ms. Johnson said. "The next day, he said three sentences, and the next day he talked all day long."

It was after he began speaking that doctors realized that Fearing had suffered major hearing loss, because he had great difficulty responding to what was said to him.

Fearing's reaction to Ms. Johnson, who had faithfully been at his side since the beginning, stunned her. He was deliberatly rude, trying push her away from his dire fate.

Ms. Johnson had no intention of leaving: "I love him, I had so much faith he was going to be better."

The couple didn't have to pay for the medical care in New Zealand because the country has a nationalized health care system. The government would have funded what Fearing and Ms. Johnson considered an insufficient amount of rehabilitation, so they decided to come back to Houston.

Fearing has been making steady progress at The Institute of Rehabilitation and Research, a renowned facility in the Medical Center for rehabilitating patients with catastrophic injuries. But his bills since January have already reached $23,000, the center said.

TIRR officials said they could not confirm the estimate by Ms. Johnson and Fearing of $500,000 for total care, but said the couple is clearly "destitute." Fearing cannot qualify for TIRR's charity program because he did not become ill in the Houston area.

So far, they have been getting by on Ms. Johnson's part-time job and contributions from friends and Fearing's father, Joe Fearing of Denton, who has pitched in about $16,000. A trust fund in Houston has raised more than $13,000, and a similar fund in New Zealand has raised about $8,000.

But the couple need to raise much more in order for Fearing to continue his rehabilitation, He hopes to walk again with the help of prosthetics and, of course, to overcome his hearing problems and brain damage so he can teach again.

"I belong in the classroom, I'm a good teacher," Fearing said. "I have a participatory style, I want everyone to participate in class discussions."

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